“I know I got really, really angry. And I kinda feel bad about that. But they really, really pissed me off! And I was justified to get angry — I really was justified! *hands on hips for emphasis* I don’t think I should have to apologize. Well, I’ll just get them a small gift instead. I don’t feel like saying ‘I’m sorry’ so I’ll buy them some little trinket instead. There! I won’t have to say the words but the gift will speak for me.”
I call HORSEHOCKEY on that one!
It takes a great deal of humility to face someone that you’ve hurt. Or disrespected. Or maligned. Or gossiped about. It takes thinking of yourself as someone who has done wrong. *YES! You do make mistakes!*
You! Are! Not! Perfect!
And even if you feel justified in your wrath, you can still err.
So get off your high horse, realize you’re a stupid git and you could be (and probably are) wrong in your reactions, go find that person, and apologize for your response! To their face!
And don’t explain it away. Own it! Don’t rationalize your apology. Don’t be passive aggressive. Don’t accept half blame while transferring the other half to the other person.
Otherwise, your apology is worthless. A waste of air. A waste of time. Because your ego is getting in the way!
“I was wrong, and I am truly sorry. Will you forgive me?”